They Saved Hitler’s Brain!

Sep 23, 2013 by

We’d like to introduce Don Losey to Old 67 readers.  His bio is as follows:

Bearing a large bony frill and three horns on its large four-legged body, and conjuring similarities with the modern rhinoceros, Triceratops is one of the most recognizable of all dinosaurs and the best known ceratopsid. It shared the landscape with and was preyed upon by the fearsome Tyrannosaurus,[4] though it is less certain that the two did battle in the manner often depicted in traditional museum displays and popular images


The actress was blond, 30, and disgusted by the way people hunched over into their electronics. Posturing was all she knew.

The latch to her old bathroom door would sometimes catch, not go through the hole completely, and her cat would slip through the gap while she was on the can and she would scream at it and kick her feet and scream some more until the poor confused creature would run away. Hide under the piano in the hallway that no one played, that no one had played in years.

It was pointless to argue with her because she never ceded a point, something she learned from watching politicians on the t.v. No matter how wrong you are, never, never admit that the opposition has a point. Only a fool would allow themselves to loose an argument. Gaining knowledge is like gaining weight. No one really needs more, except maybe those poor Africans.

When she finally snapped, a production assistant was the closest person to her. The PA was just considering quitting and moving back to PA to work on the family dairy, that’s a farm that specializes in milk and cheese. The PA never got to quit, the actress took his pen and jammed it into his throat. The ink was red. As such she did not realize she had broken the pen as well as his jugular.

When the paramedics arrived they zipped the body up and lugged it into the back of the ambulance. The tallest paramedic, the smartest one, obviously, checked ‘broken jugular’ on his clipboard and the body was hauled off.

The actress hid in the sewer. There she met several out dated talk show hosts. They pandered to their audience, a floating shit, a dead cat and two mice, talked about what projects they were working on, or at least tried to. The actress was evasive, for good reason, murder was still illegal.    The exact moment the PA’s heart stopped beating his younger sister was on a Ferris wheel in Berlin. A bomb went off two streets over from the carnival she was at and she watched all the little Germans scurry around, get in their efficient little German cars and run away. “Cowards!” she thought and flung herself to the ground to join in on the fray. A fat woman was walking underneath the wheel and the PA’s sister landed on her, breaking her jugular. The fat woman had cancer anyway.

The actress left the sewer by the cover of dark. She scurried into her efficient little German car and ran it through the glass front of a gluten free bagel shop called ‘jihad on gluten’ and stole the money form the register. It was all zeroes and ones. They had converted to digital thousands of years ago with the rest of the dinosaurs. Dinosaurs went extinct precisely because of this.

She slept the night in a dumpster with a heroin addict. He was from the West and had a cool scar on his cheek and was independently wealthy from prostituting himself to Asians who’d never seen an American before. It was good money. He bummed a lot of cigarettes and met a lot of interesting people in that manner. “I’ve bummed Camels from security at punk shows, Newports between parades in New Orleans, Parliaments at midnight in empty parking lots, Tahoes from teen moms outside K-Mart entrances, Marlboros outside gas stations, pulled from the ripped, zippered, studded, stained, acid washed, buttoned, and bedazzled pockets of jeans, jackets, jean jackets, hoodies, pullovers, overalls, khakis and once a fanny pack.” he said. The actress only pretended to listen. The whole time she was secretly recording his voice to sell to Asians who had never seen an American before.

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