Steve Williams Deserves a Punch In the Nose

Aug 8, 2011 by

Say what you will about Tiger Woods, but I respect a man who can keep his mouth shut.  When his life fell apart, Tiger did exactly what he should have done, apologized profusely, tried to stay out of the cameras, and kept his mouth shut.  He never blamed anyone but himself, didn’t cry fame, didn’t cry immaturity, didn’t do any of the typical pandering that you see from people in his position.  I know a lot of people bitched and moaned about his apology speech, and how it wasn’t “sincere enough”.  What do you expect him to do?  Have you ever watched Tiger speak?  The guys an automaton, he’s a robot built for golf and the occasional celebration, not much else (oh, and sex, apparently a lot of it, too).   As for the speech itself, what could the guy say that would have made anyone happy?  He fooled the entire world.  His wife didn’t know, his girlfriends didn’t know about each other, the other players didn’t know, sports writers and pundits didn’t know, hell his caddies didn’t even know.  He got busted pulling the wool over the whole wide world’s eyes.  He couldn’t have done anything to make that ok, so he did what he needed to.  He stuck to the facts, said what he had to say, and got out of there.

Fast forward to mid July 2011.  Tiger fires Steve Williams, his caddie of 13 years and releases the following statement:

“I want to express my deepest gratitude to Stevie for all his help, but I think it’s time for a change,” “Stevie is an outstanding caddie and a friend and has been instrumental in many of my accomplishments. I wish him great success in the future.”

Some people say it was a “cold” speech.  A word people love to use with Tiger.  I guess we are expecting our golfers to get all Bobby Knight or John Boehner on us.  One blogger called it “A CEO announcing…the departure of a manager”.  Isn’t that actually what happened?  Does it really matter that they used to be friends.  If you’ve never fired someone you might have a misconception of how it goes.  No one likes doing it.  It doesn’t matter if everyone in the room, including the person getting fired, knows it has to happen, its still awkward.  It should necessarily be unemotional.  An emotional firing is a bad one.  Again, Tiger stuck to what the media needed to know, and kept his mouth shut about the rest.

Steve, of course, was just as professional.  Except that he wasn’t:

“Given the circumstances of the past 18 months working through Tiger’s scandal, a new coach and with it a major swing change and Tiger battling through injuries, I am very disappointed to end our very successful partnership at this time.”

In addition to revealing his lack of grammatical education (I’m pretty sure punctuation exists in New Zealand), Steve comes off as a whiny little prick.  You’d think after he got it off his chest, he might do as his one time boss did, and keep his mouth shut, but Steve has never been good at that.  Instead, he’s been running his mouth at every turn.

You got fired Steve.  Maybe Tiger didn’t have to call you Stevie, after he just canned your ass, but that’s what happened.  You got canned.  It happens all the time in Golf.   You’re not the first caddie Tiger has fired, and you won’t be the last.

What comes from this, and from the blogosphere, is that somehow Williams was loyal to Tiger because he stuck with him through the hard times after the infidelity, and now Tiger is not repaying said loyalty.  Sorry to sound ignorant here, but what exactly did Williams have to stick with?  A moneymaking cash cow? A guy who had to compensate for his shitty personality while alternating between apologizing for his behavior and defending him for it?  Seriously, read that link and anything that he has said since being fired. The guy has an incredible inferiority complex.  He’s constantly talking about respect and his lack of getting it, and not giving it because he’s not getting it.  If anyone ever needed a blowjob, it’s this guy.  Of course, he’d probably take the credit for it.

As for loyalty, I’ve got two words for Steve Williams.  Fuck and You.  If he didn’t like Tiger, or he felt disrespected by his philandering, then he should have said something and quit.  He didn’t, not out of loyalty, but for money.  That’s why people stay in jobs.  We like to use words like loyalty and commitment, but those are words we use to fool ourselves because we like the money.   I can say this with utter conviction based on everything Steve Williams has done, both before he was fired and afterwards.  He ran his mouth and was belligerent to fans, photographers and other golfers.  He doesn’t own up to his behavior, he’s petty, and he wants to write a “tell all” book.  Though to be honest, I’m not sure what he can tell since apparently, and according to his own words, he didn’t know shit.

And look, lets just be honest about this, he’s a caddie.  I get that their advice is important; I understand that they do more than just carry the golf clubs.  But if you read the interview after Bridgestone, you’d think ‘ol Stevie was responsible for every win he’s ever caddied.  Funny how you don’t see him taking any credit for the losses though, huh?  His “confidence” in being a “winner” would be akin to Eddie Perez or Paul Bako laying claim to Greg Maddux’s wins.  A good caddie is important, but they can’t win shit carrying the bags.

Some folks are loving Steve Williams right now (though that will change, as he was pretty much universally reviled before this incident).  A lot of people are just hoping he’ll shut up and go away.  In my opinion, its time for someone to finally put this smug, self-aggrandizing son of a bitch in his place, and it looks like I’m the only one willing to do it.  So Stevie boy, keep your eyes open, the next camera you try to take might be mine.  Then you can finally get what you truly deserve.

PS – Here’s a great blog from March of 2010 calling for Steve William’s firing.

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